Jason Jack Elwell

Yesterday was Jason's Bday, it was supposed to be a day of celebration and in some ways it was. We went to dinner last night with Tori, Taylor, Brogan, Mike, my Mom and all four of my boys. John, Niki and Harley also joined us. It was a great dinner, little hectic but good that we were all together. We took beautiful flowers up to his grave site and sat for awhile. Man, we really miss him! Due to the amount of tears yesterday I just didnt have it in me to do a post in his honor. Today I found some pictures to share with everyone. I had a great time looking for these, brings back some pretty awesome memories and helps remind me of how blessed we all are to have had him in our lives.

This is so Jason! I believe we were in Lake Mead

As much as Jason complained about his dogs we all know how much he loved them.

I had no idea I had this one, it was hidden in another folder. This was a remote camping trip we took Morgan and Houstin on up to Forrest Lake.


This is one of my favorite pictures of Jase. It was taken when we first starting dating and he was always at the shop working on his race car. It really shows his blue eyes.

Here we are at the races, I cannot believe how little the boys are

Snowmobiling with either Jared or Rusty or Jared and Rusty. Maybe the day they all got caught in the snow and it took them hours to dig out.

Palm Springs, March 09

Palm Springs March 09

Classic! Kriss, Ryan and Jason on the beach in Puerto Rico.

Cruise...in what we called the toad licker tower!!

Okay, that is going to have to be enough for right now. I have piles and piles of photos I will start sharing.

Against the Grain

So we learn our entire lives not to fight...I can hear my Mother..."Dont hit your sister". Then as we have children we teach them, fighting is unacceptable. I remember a time when Jason and I were so fed up with Morgan and Houstin fighting we let them go at it. I was sick to see the boys hurting each other, in the same breath...found myself routing for Morgan. Nothing against Houstin obviously, but Jason was routing for Houstin and well you know, little competition.



So Tori and I headed out Friday night to the fights. Yes I said the fights. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. We made it a girls night out and were off. We had a table in the VIP section, there was one table between us and the ring. Darren Williams from the Utah Jazz was sitting at the table in front of us. Pretty major production! So the fights begin and Tori and I are thinking oh no, this is not good. It was OOOOHHHHH Dont do that.... OHHHHHH that is mean! We watched them kick, punch, stomp on toes, throw, push...you name it, it happened! We were so close we could hear all the moans, gloves making contact with the face and blood. After a few fights we really got into it. When there was a good move, Tori and I would come out of our chair and start yelling. We went nuts and loved it. Totally against the grain but wow what a great time. Thanks sister for going with me at the last minute...you are my hero!

The rest of the weekend was spent getting ready for Mom to come. She is on her way and going to be here in a few hours. I cannot wait to see my Mom. Saturday, Mikey helped me launch the boat and we took it to the Provo marine to empty the tanks. Now, for those of you that have not seen my boat...UH, this is not a simple task. We launched the boat no problem, had a great ride over to the marine and pulled up to the doc. I came a little to fast, hit the dock and took a nice chunk out of the boat. UGGG.....gets better, Mikey took the cap off the tank and PLOP the cap went into the water. He spent a little to much time looking for the cap, which we never did find. So we headed back to our marina and it was getting dark. Once we got to the marina, the mosquito's were horrible! We were bitten from head to toe.....I get chills thinking about it.

Strength

I had a friend call me last night needing some guidance. She said to me that she wonders where I find my strength and wishes she could be as strong. Here is what I have to say " Strength, are you kidding me!" I dont have strength, there are a million things I could do different. Ways I can improve myself. I guess we all feel this way and strive to improve ourselves. Although I appreciate the comment, it is so far from true. So it has me thinking today on the small things I can do to improve myself, gain strength within me. I want to share this once again, it was written on the back of the program at Jason's funeral. I assumed when I chose it, it was just for me but maybe some of you read it and took it to heart. Here is a reminder of self knowledge. Of course it comes from my favorite Philosopher, Kahlil Gibran. Jason and I used to sit and read Kahlil and talk for hours on the meaning.

Self Knowledge

And a man said, Speak to us of Self Knowledge.

And he answered, saying:

Your hearts know in silence the secrets

of the days and the nights.

But your ears thirst for the sound of

your heart's knowledge.

You would know in words that which

you have always known in thought.

You would touch with your fingers the

naked body of your dreams.

And it is well you should.

The hidden well-spring of your soul must

needs rise and run murmuring to the sea;

And the treasure of your infinite depths

would be revealed to your eyes.

But let there be no scales to weigh your

unknown treasure;

And seek not the depths of your knowledge

with staff or sounding line.

For self is a sea boundless and measureless.

Say not, "I have found the truth," but

rather, "I have found a truth."

Say not, "I have found the path of the soul."

Say rather, "I have met the soul walking

upon my path."

For the soul walks upon all paths.

The soul walks not upon a line, neither

does it grow like a reed.

The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of

countless petals.

Kahlil Gibran

We all strive for self knowledge and growth. I face my day remembering, there are people crossing my path striving for the same thing. We all make mistakes, some hurt yourself, some hurt others some we just learn from. There is love, understanding, compassion and forgiveness in my heart. Maybe that is where others may see my strength. So for today, I am going to get a Yoga video for Caleb and I, some heavy protien drinks and work on my self image. I have found myself working on a daily goal. Its typically simple...yesterday it was to bake a chicken. I did it and it turned out fabulous, didnt even burn it!

Family Photos

This is for you Mom and to show off my beautiful family and my sister Tori's amazing work. We miss you Mom....keep heading this direction and be safe in your travels.

Colorado Trip

It has been a little crazy between kids going back to school and work. So crazy that I forgot to send Caleb to his first day of Jr. High...yes I do deserve the mother of the year award!

We were desperate for a break so I took the kids to Colorado to see Leslie and Joshua over Labor day weekend. It was a long drive but the kids did well, other than the stinky feet and flat out boy smell it was a good drive. We got in on Friday morning at 2:00 AM and left Monday morning at 10:00 AM. The boys played Frisbee golf at the park with Joshua and went to the golf course to hit a bucket of balls. We went to Pearl street and watched all the street performers, had a great lunch at our favorite cafe on Pearl street. The boys found a wood store that designed quite a few different cultural items. Morgan came back to the cafe and told me that the store had a bucket of "wieners" sure enough they did! Apparently it is a talisman. Leslie would know the story better than I. So we brought home a little gift for Joshua and he wore the "wiener" on a chain around his neck the rest of the night. We laughed so hard! The boys got to experience so much in Colorado, a hippie fair with crazy dancing people, took them to a restaurant where they could play all the games they wanted. Joshua still kicked their pants at air hockey.

We took the kids to Elitch Gardens (Six Flags) on Sunday...it was insane! I only went on a few rides. The first one scared me to death and I wanted to cry. Took me forever to get control of myself.

Here is a picture from the Ferris wheel, it only shows part of the park. Behind us was a full water park and shops.

After we did the scary ride, Leslie, Joshua, Morgan and Caleb did this one. There was no way Kayl and I were getting on that thing! It looped all over the place and turned you upside down. Morgan and Caleb are in the seat third from the back, Leslie and Joshua are in front of them.

End of the ride, You can see Leslie and Caleb in this one.

This next one still scares me just thinking about it. Leslie, Caleb and Joshua waiting in line for the total terror ride

They strap you in......................

And send you up a tower that makes me sick even to look at....

All the way to the top......then they DROP YOU!!!!

Leslie was so scare, she will never do that one again.

Here we all are at one of my favorite places for Bfast. What an awesome family!

We had an amazing time, it was fun to watch the boys play and relax. I miss my sister and brother in law....wish you guys were closer! Thanks for letting us come out and mess up your house and eat all your food!